Wednesday, May 02, 2012

A Letter From 'Brett'

This evening one of my elite leafleting squad handed me a letter he received today. Written in blue ink on cream coloured A5 paper, it purports to be from someone called Brett Harrison. Starting 'Dear Friend' - a bit forward that, particularly as he doesn't give his address - Brett goes on to explain that he used to be a Tory activist. Brett is now so disillusioned that he won't be voting on Thursday and he urges others to follow his lead.

Apart from that Brett doesn't say much about himself, preferring to pedal Labour's lines about the budget and alleged police cuts. Wonder where he picked that up from?

Fortunately I once did a bit of self training in handwriting analysis, not for any expert role - more to liven up social occasions when people didn't want to discuss politics or transport. A quick rummage produces my graphology guide - now what does the handwriting tell us about Brett?

Blunt - Shown in the letter o that has no inner loops and is relatively wide. If the o is open they will volunteer a frank opinion without being asked. By sending out hundreds of unsolicited letters to people you don't know perhaps...

Defiance - A large lower case letter anywhere in the writing. The defiant person resists other's authority. Seen as resentment at being told what to do and as rebellion in young people. Brett seems more like a socialist...

Low Self Esteem - Shown by the t bar crossed very low on the stem. This person fears failure and fears change thus sets goals with low risk. He remains in bad situations much too long and finds imperfections with himself. He is rarely successful in his own eyes. That's not a good trait to have Brett...

Sexual Imagination - Shown by very long loops in the lower zones y, g and p. They will demand variety in their physical activities which must satisfy their insatiable physical desires. Sexually, they can be very demanding and often creative. Lucky Brett, it's not all bad news...

Ah - but what is this, in very tiny writing along the bottom left of the sheet 'Promoted by Patrick Heneghan on behalf of London Labour both at 59 Victoria Street, London, SW1H 0HA'. No wonder Brett fails to write his address at the top of the letter, as we were all taught at school.

So if this is a Labour  leaflet why doesn't it mention Ken?? Too Toxic?

It doesn't even mention Labour, except in the small print.

All it does is urge people not to vote - strange and two faced behaviour from a party that introduced on demand postal voting ostensibly to Raise Turnout.


Or could it be that they only want to raise turnout in some places. In Havering and Redbridge they want people to waste their vote.

Several constituents have received this letter and emailed me about it. Reactions include:

"How can Labour be allowed to issue such rubbish? Is this against political election promotion rules?" - Mark.


"I think it is an extremely distasteful way of electioneering and object strongly to being approached in this way." - Joy.

If you agree with them then don't forget to vote Conservative on Thursday on all three ballot papers. 'Brett' and his Labour masters will be really smug if you do anything else.

8 comments:

Mrs Angry said...

Roger: this bloke sounds perfect in every way. I like a man with very long loops in his lower zones, don't you, Sonia?

Can you introduce us?

weggis said...

I've consulted my Horrorscope and it advises me not to vote Conservative!

Anonymous said...

Crass "catch-all" flyer - doesn't even qualify as marketing. Mentions all sorts of things that are totally outside the orbit of Boris, and all sorts of issues that are the direct responsibility of the previous Labour shower.

Anonymous said...

Mrs Angry - would that include your esteemed Conservative Assembly candidate for Barnet if it should apply to him? (I've ever seen his lower zone loops, so wouldn't know.)

Redbridge Blue said...

I fear Brett may be a work of fiction, rather like Ken's manifesto promises.

I shall miss Ken. But not much.

Miranda Kaufmann said...

I got this letter too- late on Wednesday night and was deeply unimpressed! I disliked the feeling I had been targeted by postcode, but found the style, and worse, the handwriting and lack of correct grammar and punctuation, extremely off putting! What kind of election literature dare not speak it's own candidate's name?

Morris Hickey said...

Breathing right down your neck isn't she? Ha, ha, ha!

ANYBODY BUT EVANS!

weggis said...

"That was close."

The result or the unwanted attention of the NF candidate?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z59GWO_98IQ&feature=youtu.be